March 30, 2000
9:15 AM   Subscribe

M.A.T.T.: Mechanical Android Trained for Troubleshooting

Troubleshooting! troubleshooting!?!
<yawn>
posted by mathowie at 9:23 AM on March 30, 2000

ALISON: Artificial Lifeform Intended for Sabotage and Online Nullification
nothing like the power to be able to render sites null and void!
metafilter shall be spared from my wrath.
posted by bluishorange at 9:53 AM on March 30, 2000

matt. hahaha. figures. that's what you get!

my real name is much worse than yours though so stop whining =)

O.W.E.N.: Obedient Worker Engineered for Nullification

since when have i ever been obedient or worked?
posted by sikk at 10:22 AM on March 30, 2000

Hydraulic Organism Built for Battle and Efficient Sabotage

Hell yeah! Though my real name is stupid too... Artificial Lifeform Built for Efficient Repair and Troubleshooting? WTF?
posted by hobbes at 10:36 AM on March 30, 2000

I like my initials: L.A.B.: Lifeform Assembled for Battle.
By the way, anybody interested in some kick-ass superhuman scientifically enhanced kung fu madness should check out Jet Li's Black Mask. Pure black market Hong Kong adrenaline.
WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY TO REBUILD YOU
posted by lbergstr at 10:36 AM on March 30, 2000

Hey, I like my Wu-Name! On Slashdot, I use the name "Industrial Disease"; My Wu-Name is "Contagious Specialist." This Can Not Be Coincidence.
posted by harmful at 11:00 AM on March 30, 2000

R.E.B.E.K.A.H.: Robotic Electronic Being Engineered for Killing and Accurate Harm -- yeah!
posted by palegirl at 11:08 AM on March 30, 2000

oops, they got daryl wrong -- they say :D.A.R.Y.L.: Digital Artificial Repair and Yardwork Lifeform -- everybody knows that D.A.R.Y.L is a data analyzing robot youth lifeform....
posted by palegirl at 11:09 AM on March 30, 2000

B.R.I.G.: Being Responsible for Infiltration and Gratification.

i wonder what kind of gratification?
posted by brig at 11:19 AM on March 30, 2000

J.O.H.N.: Judge Optimized for Hazardous Nullification
Sounds kinky.
posted by gleemax at 11:27 AM on March 30, 2000

W.E.N.D.E.L.L. = Wireless Electronic Neohuman Designed for Exploration and Logical Learning... geeez, even as a Cyborg, I'm a nerd.On the Other Hand, F.O.O.P. = Functional Organism Optimized for Peacekeeping... a function I never intended for my website.
BTW, didn't the anti-smoking site thetruth.com used to have a Wu-Name Generator variation that output generally positive names?
posted by wendell at 11:59 AM on March 30, 2000

L.E.O.N.A.R.D.: Lifelike Electronic Organism Normally for Accurate Repair and Destruction

Sounds like my job at work.

C.A.V.: Construct Assembled for Violence

Sounds a lot better.
posted by Cavatica at 12:14 PM on March 30, 2000

has anyone else noticed how have all of these names listed here is much more satisfying than seeing every blog link to it and give their name?
posted by brig at 2:19 PM on March 30, 2000

Artificial Wireless Observational Lifeform.

Wow, I must be a real cutting edge, T-1000 kinda cyborg to be wireless.
posted by Awol at 2:38 PM on March 30, 2000

J.E.F.F

Judge Engineered for Forbidden Fighting

isn't that neat?
posted by corpse at 2:39 PM on March 30, 2000

I agree, brig, let's pledge to bring things like this and the Sit-Com Character/Dictator Quiz to Metafilter. Of course, if we get all 585 members to post, Mathowie'll have a nervous breakdown, but that'll be kinda fun too! (I can say that now that he's 350 miles away)
posted by wendell at 2:48 PM on March 30, 2000

Mechanical Android Responsible for Killing

K = Killing I guess.

posted by Mark at 3:00 PM on March 30, 2000

Brent: Being Responsible for Exploration and Nocturnal Troubleshooting

Troubleshooters are everywhere.
posted by brent at 5:28 PM on March 30, 2000

First my initials, and then everything people call me (stefanie is too long for it):

S.C.N.: Synthetic Cybernetic Neohuman
S.T.E.F.: Synthetic Technician Engineered for Fighting
S.T.E.F.F.I.E.: Synthetic Transforming Entity Fabricated for Forbidden Infiltration and Exploration
N.O.B.L.E.: Networked Obedient Being Limited to Exploration

And then the name of one of my friends:
X.E.R.X.E.S.: eXperimental Electronic Replicant eXperienced in Exploration and Sabotage
posted by stefnet at 5:48 PM on March 30, 2000

Wetlog: Wireless Entity Trained for Logical Observation and Gratification.
posted by Neale at 5:50 PM on March 30, 2000

And I fully agree - keep all the %bitch/%insane/%evil/wu name/cyborg name results on in one big heap on metafilter. It's so much easier than having to surf 50 blogs for names instead.
posted by Neale at 5:53 PM on March 30, 2000

F.I.E.N.D.I.S.H T.H.I.N.G.Y.: Functional Individual Engineered for Nocturnal Destruction of Intelligent Synthetic Humanoids who Transform Humanoids Intended for Nullification and Galactic Yardwork

(heehee... work around the limitations!)
posted by stefnet at 5:56 PM on March 30, 2000

S.T.E.F.A.N.I.E.: Synthetic Technician Engineered for Fighting Artificial Networked Infiltration Entities


Ok. I'm done now.
posted by stefnet at 5:57 PM on March 30, 2000

Journeying Electronic Soldier Skilled in Assassination and
Mandatory Yardwork, Neato!

[I added the neato...] yardwork?
posted by jessamyn at 6:47 PM on March 30, 2000

Here's mine!
JISH - Journeying Intelligent Sabotage Humanoid.

I kinda like it....
In case you were wondering, my Wu Name was "Homicidal Terrahawk".
posted by JISH at 6:48 PM on March 30, 2000

MICHAEL: Mechanical Intelligent Construct Hardwired for Assassination and Efficient Learning.

I like it a lot!
posted by mikel at 7:03 PM on March 30, 2000

Somebody had to do it: W.E.B.L.O.G. = Wireless Electronic Being Limited to Observation and Gratification. Heh.

As far as me: S.E.B.=Synthetic Electronic Being.
Damn. I'm found out!
{POIT}
posted by s.e.b. at 7:26 PM on March 30, 2000

I guess it's the equivalent of Name, Rank, and Serial Number:
CYBORG:
A.N.I.L.: Artificial Networked Infiltration Lifeform

Wu: Ultra-Chronic Monstah

Ehhh, doesn't work too well for me....
posted by anildash at 7:37 AM on March 31, 2000

L.A.U.R.E.L.: Lifelike Artificial Ultimate Repair and Exploration Lifeform

Ultimate, baybee. Um. Or something. Lifelike lifeform? Okayyyy.

posted by laurel at 8:04 AM on April 1, 2000

J.J.G.: Journeying Judo Guardian

In other words, he'll fuck your shit up, Grasshopper.
posted by jjg at 12:03 AM on April 2, 2000