Comments on: Whopper 911

Whopper 911

XQUZYPHYR — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:28:28 -0800

A California woman calls 911 after the drive-thru guy at Burger King doesn't get her order right. (.WMA audio link, transcript here)

By: mek

mek — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:37:23 -0800

Another point for the land of the free.

By: uni verse

uni verse — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:37:47 -0800

They say Californians are soft.

By: papercake

papercake — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:38:29 -0800

*mind boggles, explodes*

By: matteo

matteo — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:38:40 -0800

O: Ma'am, we're not going to go down there and escort your Western bacon cheeseburger. comedy gold, thanks XQUZ

By: Debaser626

Debaser626 — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:39:22 -0800

$20 says she's blonde.... :)

By: cows of industry

cows of industry — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:41:00 -0800

Un-flippin-real. Apparently, "Emergency 911" has a much broader application than previously thought. And to think, people like this are allowed to drive and have kids...

By: bshort

bshort — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:41:27 -0800

I hope they send her a bill.

By: scarabic

scarabic — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:43:12 -0800

I'm actually over in CA right now - anyone know where I need to show up in order to slap this bitch?

By: bshort

bshort — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:43:56 -0800

This *must* be fake.

By: Robot Johnny

Robot Johnny — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:44:57 -0800

God Bless America!

By: Turtles all the way down

Turtles all the way down — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:45:24 -0800

This reminds me of when there was a power failure in San Diego and the radio announcers were pleading with people "please don't call 911 just to report that your air conditioning isn't working". I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't heard it with my own ears.

By: LeeJay

LeeJay — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:48:22 -0800

That's hilarious and sad. I was wondering if it was real or not but according to Snopes it most likely is:

Since the question on everyone's minds is "Is this for real?" we called the Orange County Sheriff's Department (OCSD) and spoke to a couple of folks at the Public Affairs Office. They were a bit busy to speak with us at length (evidently matters such as homicides and escaped prisoners take priority over media inquiries about irate fast food patrons), but they told us the recording is an actual call that was handled by an OCSD dispatcher about two years ago.

So many idiots in the world...

By: orange swan

orange swan — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:49:11 -0800

I wonder how many similar, useless calls 911 gets every day.

By: Debaser626

Debaser626 — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:50:01 -0800

Even if it's fake... it's hilarious... (I would think the 911 operator would school this 'tard on the seriousness of calling 911 for something so trivial, but hey, like Turtle said... this IS California...) It's funny I was praying that the Laura K. fiasco was a hoax, and I'm praying that this is real... I guess that just says something about me.... April Fools or no, good fucking post... I needed that laugh...

By: gompa

gompa — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:50:01 -0800

I think I just overheard the opening scene of a remake of that Michael Douglas movie Falling Down, only with Jessica Simpson or perhaps Tara Reid in the lead role. *scratches chin contemplatively* *speed-dials Harvey Weinstein*

By: NewBornHippy

NewBornHippy — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:50:10 -0800

On the other hand, I've been playing food police in the thread about TV dinners, so... I'll take the suggested job.

By: LeeJay

LeeJay — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:50:59 -0800

I wonder how many similar, useless calls 911 gets every day. My stepmother was a 911 dispatcher for many years and judging by the stories she's told, quite a few. Maybe not every single day but more than enough to waste precious time.

By: Ethereal Bligh

Ethereal Bligh — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:52:42 -0800

It reads really well (really funny), too, which makes me suspicious.

By: hellbient

hellbient — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:56:15 -0800

the question on everyone's minds is "Is this for real?" Huh, I was actually wondering if she ever got her Western Burger...some closure here would be nice.

By: nkyad

nkyad — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:56:54 -0800

B:"Well....that is, that, you're supposed to be here to protect me." O:"Well what are we protecting you from, a wrong cheeseburger?" If real, the dispatcher who took the call should consider a comedy career. Very polite, very cool. If fake, kudos for the writer anyway. Thanks for the laugh, XQUZYPHYR.

By: odinsdream

odinsdream — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:00:12 -0800

I can't help but feel really, really sorry for 911 operators if this is the kind of shit they have to put up with. I'm not at all getting a "fake" feeling from this... I know people like this woman, and the operator is as professional as possible given the extreme absurdity of it all.

By: davejay

davejay — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:02:12 -0800

This was mentioned in another thread here or elsewhere a few days ago, and I can say with authority (it was linked there): Snopes has validated this with the dispatch, it really happened. However, I can't imagine how they got the recording...

By: Fuzzy Monster

Fuzzy Monster — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:03:10 -0800

O: No ma'am, I'm not sending the deputies down there over a cheeseburger! You need to go in there and act like an adult, and get your money back, and go home. Amen.

By: Ethereal Bligh

Ethereal Bligh — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:03:45 -0800

On Pandagon someone wrote:

They played this on the radio here in L.A. (KROQ-FM) and actually talked to the dispatcher. She said she was so in shock that this woman would call for something so stupid that she kept asking her questions to see if there actually was something wrong.

...answering snopes's biggest doubt.

By: davejay

davejay — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:04:15 -0800

Whoops, didn't see the link to snopes is already earlier in the thread. Nevermind.

By: Fuzzy Monster

Fuzzy Monster — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:06:12 -0800

Of course, here's what the operator was really saying: O: A Cheeseburger? Are you fucking kidding me? Pull your head out of your ass and stop being such a fucking moron!

By: anthill

anthill — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:10:27 -0800

When a melon headed teenager starts telling me the wrong aisle for the sporting goods it should be a felony so give me convenience or give me death it's a right that I'll fight for till I've had my last breath till they pry my cold hands from around the credit card cause it's hard to find good help these days mcenroe - realaudio of another good song

By: nkyad

nkyad — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:12:21 -0800

Fuzzy Monster writes " Of course, here's what the operator was really saying: O: A Cheeseburger? Are you fucking kidding me? Pull your head out of your ass and stop being such a fucking moron!" She could also say "yes, madam, I think I have a car en-route to a double homicide down at 12 freeway. I will recall them so you kid can have the right chessburger"

By: Tubes

Tubes — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:12:54 -0800

"I will call the police, because I want my Western hamburger done RIGHT. Now is that so hard?" Ugh. I should know better than to listen to things like this, I just get mad.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:19:52 -0800

A former landlady of mine worked on the Columbia House telephone complaint lines - you know that company - 12 records for a penny each if you buy 10 more in the next year, blah, blah, blah. And I swear it had to be one of the worst jobs ever. Ninety-five percent of people who called in had nothing to complain about. They were just being stupid or trying to pull a fast one on the company. Here's an example: Customer: I'm sending my CD's back. They're all defective. [Former landlady pulls up the woman's customer record to see that she's bought several dozen CD's over the past year.] Former landlady: They're ALL defective? Are you sure? Customer: Well, I put them on my record player and they just won't work. Former landlady: Don't you have a CD player? Customer: What's that? Is there a difference?

By: BlackLeotardFront

BlackLeotardFront — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:21:32 -0800

They should fine like $500 for frivolous 911 calls. It would have to be blatant, though - I mean, if they think the person was just mistaken (its for real emergencies, not all medical situations for instance, like a broken finger) they can just correct the guy and hang up, but for a goddamn cheeseburger (wrote cheerleader there first, heh) they should drop the fine on her and "supersize" it even.

By: fungible

fungible — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:21:36 -0800

(Taking notes for my next screenplay...) Thanks!

By: kookywon

kookywon — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:23:31 -0800

I'm almost glad this was validated by snopes. I thought it was another viral marketing scheme they way they kept mentioning the product name and stating that they wanted it done right ('your way, right away'). This viral marketing stuff is getting way out of hand when I have to question if the stupidity of a person is another attempt to pry money out of my wallet (it probably is).

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:25:35 -0800

I have to jump on that 12 freeway. The 12, is that a toll road? $20 says she's blonde.... :) posted by Debaser626 at 3:39 PM CST on March 31 [!] Maybe if she dyed it. Listen to hear voice and use of words. Say real from my merchandising experiences in the state. This woman is common, well dressed and thinks highly of herself. Liife is easily until she becomes easily irritated in confronting situations with individuals especially involving money. For her the solution is everybody else fix it but me. I bet she never tells her children no, why she had to have the correct burgers. So she pays dearly everyday for these type of acts as the dispacher said; "No!"

By: maryh

maryh — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:31:33 -0800

This is absolutely priceless. And oh, so believable, maybe even for folks not living in SoCal, the mother lode of petulant, entitled princessdom.

By: hellbient

hellbient — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:31:40 -0800

Customer: Well, I put them on my record player and they just won't work. one good thing about someday having Orwellian camera's everywhere is we'd hopefully get to see footage of this woman trying to play the CDs on her record player and getting outraged...every month. It'd almost be worth it. thanks...

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:32:19 -0800

$20 says she's blonde.... :) Plus a San Clemente beach blonde would know better.

By: uni verse

uni verse — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:49:28 -0800

I was actually wondering if she ever got her Western Burger...some closure here would be nice *breaks out of stupor laughing*

By: Hildago

Hildago — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:49:46 -0800

It was really satisfying to hear the 911 operator just shut her down like that. Satisfying and reassuring.

By: NickDouglas

NickDouglas — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:54:28 -0800

Son, look at the people lining up for plastic Wouldn’t you like to see them in the National Geographic? Squatting bare assed in the dirt eating rice from a bowl With a towel on their head, and maybe a bone in their nose Ben Folds Man, "I just got the kids from tae kwon do..." Sometimes I doubt her commitment to Sparkle Motion.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:56:24 -0800

Americans here seem to be going "well, it *is* California, after all..." My guess is that readers from outside of the land of the freedom-fries are thinking "well, it *is* America, after all..." (disclaimer: pre morning coffee)

By: seanyboy

seanyboy — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:58:47 -0800

UbuRoivas: Correct. And probably there's a fair few others who are thinking "Well it *is* the West, after all..."

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 15:05:48 -0800

Americans here seem to be going "well, it *is* California, after all..." California is the first state in the Union to offer state-funded vasectomies to men who have been diagnosed as obese.

By: sonofsamiam

sonofsamiam — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 15:06:51 -0800

It *is* Earth, after all.

By: fenriq

fenriq — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 15:06:59 -0800

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 15:12:10 -0800

And people in LA thinking, "Well it *is* Orange County, mouthbreathers."

By: adamms222

adamms222 — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 15:18:43 -0800

My first thought is that it was an edgy new ad campaign from Wendys or McDonalds...

By: CrunchyGods

CrunchyGods — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 15:23:32 -0800

How upsetting for this woman to find out that, as an adult, she could no longer yell, "MOM!" the minute someone treated her unfairly. And now this second shock, finding out that 911 has no interest in stepping in to fill that void. Hope the police hold on to her name for a while...

By: scruss

scruss — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 15:30:46 -0800

orange swan, you have no idea what people will try to get away with in retail sales. Back in '88. I worked in a Virgin Megastore in their fledgling CD department. These are some of the things I saw: * a CD with a wobbly spiral scratch where someone had "tried it in the record player". * a CD described as "a bit scratched" that was actually broken into six pieces. * a CD that "wouldn't play", perhaps because of the thick layer of jam on it. * a request for "blank CDs"; remember, this was 1988, way before the CD-R.

By: srboisvert

srboisvert — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 15:54:22 -0800

She could also say "yes, madam, I think I have a car en-route to a double homicide down at 12 freeway. I will recall them so you kid can have the right chessburger" Makes sense to me. Dead people don't need cheeseburgers.

By: klangklangston

klangklangston — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 16:07:49 -0800

Tomcat: I fully support state funded vasectomies for just about anything that people are willing to sign up for. Because really, if you're so (fat/stupid/crazy) that you think you need to have a medicat operation otherwise you may impregnate someone, well, you really shouldn't impregnate someone.

By: Jimbob

Jimbob — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 16:21:28 -0800

How upsetting for this woman to find out that, as an adult, she could no longer yell, "MOM!" the minute someone treated her unfairly. This comes to the crux of the issue, really. And sometimes I get the feeling that this attitude is reaching plague proportions. Funny, nonetheless.

By: andendau

andendau — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 16:28:35 -0800

Please someone continue to beat the dead horse that is "Well it is X, after all." I want to see how far this can go.

By: Hildago

Hildago — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 16:35:57 -0800

Well, it is the spiral arm of the Milky Way galaxy.

By: blag

blag — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 16:41:43 -0800

Well, it is Somerset, after all...

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 16:47:02 -0800

That horse isn't dead! It's in a persistent, vegetative... no, wait – my bad. It’s dead. Somebody call 911.

By: beelzbubba

beelzbubba — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 16:49:13 -0800

doesn't surprise me at all that moe-rons call 911 because of improper cheeseburger satisfaction. And it ain't just Cali, folks. In Detroit (and I suspect Detroit is not alone), they instituted a special 311 for all city service NON emergency calls, because 911 was so flooded with crap calls that people were literally dying to get through to dispatch. I remember hearing a public safety officer say that they got 911 calls to find out the right time or because there was a pothole on the street & so on.

By: GeekAnimator

GeekAnimator — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 16:54:19 -0800

Yeah, and then some of us who live in the West would have to say, thanks for lumping us in with this utter fucking moron who should be forced to go on ride alongs with ambulances for a month so she can be well educated on what a real emergency is. Are you shitting me? You're the same person who claimed a moterized roller cycle was so very american and used it as an excuse to paint americans as by and large, lazy and convenience driven consumers. Lame.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 17:06:57 -0800

Please someone continue to beat the dead horse that is "Well it is X, after all." I want to see how far this can go. Well it *is* Metafilter, after all.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 17:08:13 -0800

(Metafilter: beat the dead horse)

By: jlub

jlub — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 17:09:27 -0800

Hey, congrats MeFi! You more-or-less recreated the first three paragraphs of And He Built a Crooked House. And you only missed beating Heinlein to it by 65 years!

By: mishaco

mishaco — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 17:15:55 -0800

give this woman what she richly deserves . community service .

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 17:24:39 -0800

Hey, congrats MeFi! You more-or-less recreated the first three paragraphs of And He Built a Crooked House. Isn't it just amazing what 23,000 monkeys with 23,000 keyboards can do?

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 17:50:29 -0800

Hey, congrats MeFi! You more-or-less recreated the first three paragraphs of And He Built a Crooked House. Who cares, where else can you snow ski, surf in the ocean & gamble all in one day by car. Also staying in the surrounding boarder?

By: missbossy

missbossy — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 18:08:36 -0800

$20 says she's blonde.... :) Well she sure as hell isn't a 250 pound male or this wouldn't have happened...

By: Ethereal Bligh

Ethereal Bligh — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 18:17:47 -0800

Okay, I was going to construct something to illustrate the humor of jlub comparing this to "And He Built a Crooked House". I'm too lazy at the moment. Instead, I'll just say that it is amusingly apt in a hyperlinked environment. :)

By: deafmute

deafmute — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 18:24:06 -0800

Forget it Jake, it's Chinatown. Similar to what Beelzbubba said, here in Philly there are no non-emergency municipal numbers, so people are actually encouraged to use 911 to report things like potholes and broken streetlights. Absurd.

By: Potsy

Potsy — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 19:22:39 -0800

That right there is the soccer mom vote. No wonder political campaigns are so dumbed-down.

By: moonbird

moonbird — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 19:27:41 -0800

Further proof that America is broken.

By: nola

nola — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 19:59:58 -0800

but potsy, she just wants a bacon buffalo'pino maple cheddar rancher burger for her kids *#$%@ value meaaaaeaaalll!!! *sighs* when we all burn in the fire of our collective waste i will burn the brightest and laugh the loudest.

By: nkyad

nkyad — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 20:02:34 -0800

That right there is the soccer mom vote. Bush (the other one) 2008:No tubes removed. No burger left behind.

By: Iax

Iax — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 20:11:06 -0800

Im in vancouver, BC, and when I wanted to complain about a noisy party at 3am on a tuesday, I spent a bunch of time finding a police number that was being answered at that time, and when I finnally called and got through they just told me to call 911. So, Vancouver's 911 cant be too swamped.

By: WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 21:38:48 -0800

911: 911, what's your emergency? Caller: People are making fun of me on MeFi. 911: Um, yeah, you're going to need to get over that. Caller: *pause* ....What am I supposed to do?

By: essexjan

essexjan — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 23:59:11 -0800

How upsetting for this woman to find out that, as an adult, she could no longer yell, "MOM!" the minute someone treated her unfairly. This comes to the crux of the issue, really. And sometimes I get the feeling that this attitude is reaching plague proportions. It's happening to a lesser extent across the pond too. I work for a financial services dispute resolution scheme, and am seeing an increasing number of complaints where the customer is stunned to discover that, yes, the bank does expect them to pay their credit card bill and, no, it won't give them an interest-free loan with nil repayments for that purpose. So they complain to us and are equally stunned when we refuse to tell the bank to write off the debt and clear their poor credit history. And these are people who are not, on the face of it, financially naive. They are usually professionals - teachers, nurses, police officers, etc - in their 30s. More often than not, Daddy brings the complaint on behalf his little girl, and Mummy fills out the form for little Johnny. Aw, diddums ...

By: seanyboy

seanyboy — Fri, 01 Apr 2005 01:10:10 -0800

The Somerset calls are fantastic. Please compare polite Californian Police with rather more brusque Somerset "Despatch"

By: leftcoastbob

leftcoastbob — Sat, 02 Apr 2005 07:05:31 -0800

I work 9-1-1 dispatch. Let me assure you that this is probably not fake. We get b.s. calls like this all the time from citizens who basically want us to protect them from themselves. For example, the lady who called in the middle of the night to let us know that a deer was in her yard. I assured her that it wasn't going to hurt her and that no laws were being broken so hell NO I'm not sending a deputy. She replied that yes, indeed, a law was being broken since her property is clearly posted "no trespassing." (Sometimes I hate people.)

By: dabitch

dabitch — Sat, 02 Apr 2005 09:22:34 -0800

"Then go out and shoot it lady." Wow, how daft. And I'm rather wigged out that two other people here had the same thought as me "viral canmpaign?".