Cramp Free
August 29, 2008 8:26 AM   Subscribe

I believe this is a double, and that it got deleted the first time.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:31 AM on August 29

Comedy ensues.
posted by Dave Faris at 8:36 AM on August 29

Those poor, poor things.
posted by dammitjim at 8:47 AM on August 29

Not seeing it, Kirth Gerson. I rather enjoy the idea of the site, too. Who among us hasn't encountered a sidewalk banana peel and heard the susurrations of a slapstick moment begging to be birthed? This is a link to a pictures of a hundred pregnant pedestrian pauses.
posted by mumkin at 8:52 AM on August 29

I don't see the appeal here.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:58 AM on August 29 [3 favorites]

I don't see the , uh, peel here.
posted by mannequito at 9:05 AM on August 29

If this was mashed with Google Maps we could have a service that halts the horrendous incidents of pedestrian injuries caused by slipping on the capitals' streets.
posted by quarsan at 9:19 AM on August 29

It was a foggy day in London, and the bananas were emerging upon the fair streets. Animate London, with the scattered peels and slippery yellow husks, was blinking, wheezing, and choking; inanimate London was a dank banana scented spectre, divided in purpose between being a purposefull fat-free source of potassium and random slip-bait in Trafalgar Squar, and so being wholly neither.
posted by isopraxis at 9:27 AM on August 29

You can't fool me. The photographer put all those bananas there.
posted by lekvar at 9:28 AM on August 29

Britain is a banana monarchy?
posted by pracowity at 9:43 AM on August 29

You can't fool me. The photographer put all those bananas there.

Are you suggesting that these bananas are plants?
posted by MrMoonPie at 9:47 AM on August 29 [6 favorites]

Wonderful.

I saw one in the bike lane the other day and thought "What is this, Mario Kart?"

For some reason, litter has been offending me greatly recently. I've taken to picking up cigarette butts on the street. Perhaps it's burning-man withdrawal...
posted by mrgrimm at 10:11 AM on August 29 [1 favorite]

Did someone get a grant for this?
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 10:18 AM on August 29

Needs more limeys.
posted by Paid In Full at 10:24 AM on August 29

> For some reason, litter has been offending me greatly recently. I've taken to picking up cigarette butts on the street.

This is a real blind spot with a lot of people. I've got friends who would take high offence at the suggestion that they were anything but the purest, most diligent environmentalists, yet still think nothing of pitching their butts into the street, where they can be washed away into storm sewers, lakes and, eventually, the ocean.

When I become President of The World, anyone caught throwing their cigarette butts anywhere but into an ashtray will be forced to eat them.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:50 AM on August 29 [2 favorites]

mrgrimm, turn your carefree anal retentiveness into a dreary chore today by adopting-a-highway!
posted by stavrogin at 10:52 AM on August 29

I saw a banana drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's, and his peel was perfect.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 11:04 AM on August 29 [1 favorite]

I've got friends who would take high offence at the suggestion that they were anything but the purest, most diligent environmentalists, yet still think nothing of pitching their butts into the street, where they can be washed away into storm sewers, lakes and, eventually, the ocean.

That's mainly because a cigarette is the only piece of burning garbage you are likely to find yourself holding regularly. You can butt it out but you can never be sure it's safe; you're afraid to throw it in the trash can and light the whole thing up. Also, it's easy to stick a wrapper in your pocket until you're near a trash can, but a cigarette butt is messy and smelly. The solution (other than not smoking, of course) is to smoke cigarettes with no filters (just a little piece of flimsy paper and leaves that will vanish very quickly) or smoke cigarettes with biodegradable filters (if there is such a thing).

Other than cigarettes, the worst everyday street litter is chewing gum. People have fallen for myths about gum doing horrible things to them if swallowed, when it just goes through you without a problem, so they spit it out.
posted by pracowity at 11:15 AM on August 29

They could do the same thing with the eviscerated corpses of crayfish in New Orleans. They're everywhere, and they're horrifying.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:36 AM on August 29

Apparently, yet another of my beliefs has proven false. Have your banana post, then.


You can butt it out but you can never be sure it's safe...

How to Field Strip a Cigarette
posted by Kirth Gerson at 1:34 PM on August 29

Orange you glad I didn't say 'banana'?
posted by subgear at 2:09 PM on August 29 [1 favorite]

I always thought a London Banana was a used condom.

- kabong
posted by etherist at 2:31 PM on August 29

mrgrimm, turn your carefree anal retentiveness into a dreary chore today by adopting-a-highway!

That would be a good idea, except that I hate cars. I do volunteer cleaning up and pulling invasive plants.

The solution (other than not smoking, of course) is to smoke cigarettes with no filters (just a little piece of flimsy paper and leaves that will vanish very quickly) or smoke cigarettes with biodegradable filters (if there is such a thing).

Or carry around a tin with you, and put your butts in there and dispose of them later. It's not rocket science.

I've never heard of biodegradable filters. As a further derail, I don't get filters. What are you filtering out? That sweet, sweet ammonia comes through anyway.
posted by mrgrimm at 4:17 PM on August 29

I smoke unfiltered hand-rolleds; occasionally I buy swan filters to roll with.

From that point of view, the only purpose of filtering is simply to keep loose strands of actual tobacco out of your mouth.
posted by mannequito at 4:25 PM on August 29

You can butt it out but you can never be sure it's safe; you're afraid to throw it in the trash can and light the whole thing up.

Rip the cherry off at the end of the filter, pitch it, and then put the butt in a can.
posted by Doofus Magoo at 5:02 PM on August 29

hooray for biodegradable wrappers!
...could they be divinely inspired?

yes, obviously
posted by es_de_bah at 5:35 PM on August 29

Until I moved to a really pedestrian-friendly city, I had no idea that bananas were still so popular as a snack among non-bedbound adults (other than myself -- I eat lots of produce). I'd figured that, although starchy and carby, they were still a fruit and would be foregone by most people in favor of Hostess products, but the evidence tells me otherwise.

I step over nasty black peels every day. Once I slipped hard on one, and although I didn't hit the ground, I was impressed by the circumstance. I wanted to take a picture of my shoe while holding up a sign saying, "Just Like Old Times!"
posted by Countess Elena at 6:10 PM on August 29

Well, the socio-political "subtext" is painfully obvious here: Britain has become a banana republic.
posted by Zack_Replica at 7:11 PM on August 29